Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Volume 2-Page Fifteen


So many things to say tonight, dear readers. As if she could see into my mind, my person took me to meet my archenemy in battle tonight! I was thrilled, but upon arrival I became nervous and unsure. Then while playing evening games I refused to lay down next to dogs I did not know. I became quite nasty and ill-tempered with my person, I'm sorry to say. However like always she seems to forget even the most immediate past events, and at the end of that very same game she praised me as if I had never treated her badly at all. I was quite ashamed of myself. Persons are simple-minded in their devotion, and as the stronger creature I should try harder to protect her and be deserving of her loyalty. I behaved quite well after that unfortunate event, and in fact my person, not I, received several corrections. It seems time has dulled her memory of the Canine Mastery person's rules of battle.
But this was the least of our adventures. On our return to the castle, traveling much faster than any dog or person in our wagon, we heard a loud rattling and the wagon began to shake. My person immediately guided the wagon to the side of the road, and upon inspecting the right front paw of the wagon, she began to remove it, and replaced it with another smaller paw. It was quite frightening with all those wagons whizzing by like huge metal birds of prey. I was relieved when we finally returned to the castle, and am now utterly spent.
Yours in exhaustion,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Fourteen


Today was uneventful. Binky throwing at the meadow, a delicious treat or two, and rest. I grow weary of this placid life. I long to meet the Canine Mastery person in battle again. What is a warrior king with no foe? I fear I shall become lazy and fat. How to communicate this to my person, dear readers...that is my conundrum.
Yours with a touch of ennui,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Thirteen


The new castle is satisfactory, yet it lacks a fortress wall around the meadow. This is disturbing, as I am developing a small case of castle fever. However the far-away meadow is a delightful daily occurrence. I am becoming quite adept at catching the flat Binky as it sails through the air.
Today on the other side of the meadow, a yellow male seemed to recognize my person, and she him. She seemed very happy to see him, and kept calling him "Hank". His person and my own held a lengthy conversation. He seems an affable fellow and in fine form. He ran up and down the length of the meadow with the yellow one, playing and barking with her through the wall.
We both received a delicious meaty treat on the way home, and are now sprawled across the cool castle floor recovering from our exertions.
It is good to be king.
Yours in happiness,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Twelve


Today my person took us to the meadow immediately after she returned home. We frolicked for quite some time. Some dog left his flat Binky, and I enjoyed chasing it, although it is quite tricky to catch. Once my person threw it high in the air and I lost my balance trying to intercept it, falling flat on my back! My person was frightened but when she saw I was quite unharmed she began to howl with mirth. At first, I was mortified and angry, but then I too saw the humor in the situation. After all, no dog witnessed my mistake, since the yellow one was busy sniffing about the meadow with clueless abandon.
Several wagons pulled up and dogs came into the meadow, which signaled our exit. My person does not trust other dogs to give me the proper respect a monarch deserves. She also does not trust their persons to keep watch over their actions. I was not disappointed at our departure, as the yellow one and I were both quite spent from our exertions. We then returned to our little castle, where we now lay at her feet. I expect we shall take another walk before we retire for the evening. I believe we are settling in our new kingdom quite well.
Yours contentedly,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Eleven


Dear readers, I have wonderful news to share with you this day! My person, the yellow one and I have conquered a new kingdom, and I have a castle once again!
Before we traveled, my person gave the yellow one and I both a washing. I find this odious, but it gave me hope that adventure was afoot. We rode in the new wagon and discovered that it breathes a cold breath and howls, which was a revelation to me. All other wagons I have ridden were silent and the air was thick. I found it refreshing, as the day was muggy, although I did not care for the howling. However my person seems to have the ability to dim its vocal cords, which I also find most interesting.
On the way to the castle we stopped at a far-away meadow, much like the one we have left behind However this meadow was huge beyond measure, and there was a magic bowl that spouted water when my person poked at it. The yellow one and I ran and ran, until we threw ourselves down on the grass from exhaustion. Some foolish dog had left his Binky behind and I played with it for quite some time. Then we rode the wagon to our new kingdom and oh, the smells that awaited us!
There are many small animals scurrying about, and flying creatures as well, both predator and prey. I marked the meadow quite copiously in case of interlopers, and although the castle is small it seems like home. My throne room was already there, and one of my favorite Binkies as well.
My heart is happy tonight, dear readers. My person has stayed true to her king and I sleep at her feet once again.
Yours in joy,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Ten


I have been feeling more optimistic today. I have discovered that my person is quite ill, and perhaps that is the reason for our delay in searching for a castle. A yellow haired person who lives in this castle has been very pleasant, though I sensed fear in her upon our initial arrival. I heard her make this noise to my very bedraggled person "imnotscaredhesjustalkingtomeiknowthatnow". Quite a long bit of nonsense, but I believe I detected an affectionate tone. She cleaned the meadow of our waste and brought us fresh water today, as my person was not physically able to do so. She gives good head scratches although I would prefer not to share them with the yellow one. A king must be pampered in times of uprest.
Yours with cautious optimism,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Nine


The upset in my kingdom continues. The yellow one and I are so confused, and I sorely miss my person. Although she is often here with us, we do not sleep at her feet like before. There is no castle here, only a tiny meadow with not a blade of grass. I want to place my trust in her, and I have a feeling that when she leaves in the evening it is to search for a new castle, but I cannot help but wonder why she does not take me along in her search. Has she forsaken us? Has her loyalty turned elsewhere? I am saddened, perplexed, and ashamed of my doubting.
I long to lay at her feet and drop the Binky on her lap as I used to do. I yearn for the days when she asked us to sit for "treats" in the castle, when I guarded her from harm as she washed herself in the room with the waterfall. I I wish I could make her understand my barks. I would tell her that I will never be cross with any dog or human again, I will never bark at the strangers who approach us, I will not drop my Binky in the fire pit or the food bowl, I will try not to shed my coat in the castle, I will do anything if we can only be together again as we once were.
I fear my kingdom will never be whole again.
Yours in great sorrow,
Boo Radley

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Volume 2-Page Eight


Today we went to the far away meadow again. Much Binky throwing, and the yellow one behaved herself quite nicely. At the approach of a small golden-haired dog, I did become cross momentarily, but quickly reconsidered my position. Although our circumstances are not ideal, our kingdom must go on. As monarch, I am the glue that holds my subjects' together.

In our temporary kingdom, there is a great white and brindle female who visits us often. She is a funny looking thing, with a short wrinkled muzzle and large jaws. She hasn't the grace and streamlined elegance of the yellow one, but there is something quite appealing in her tall, heavily muscled frame and strange eyes, the color of an unclouded sky. I am undecided as to whether she is friend or foe. The small blue feline is also a puzzle. He appears to believe that he is king over this strange new territory. What an odd thing that would be, a feline ruler. He is quite savvy and sure of himself however, sitting just on the other side of the castle walls and gazing at the yellow one and I with not a whit of fear in his yellow eyes. I quite think he would make a formidable opponent despite his stature. Feline monarchy-perhaps it is not such a far-fetched idea. Barring any dogs who are up to the task, of course.

Yours in quiet contemplation,
Boo Radley

Volume 2, Page Seven


Dear readers, the yellow one and I are very concerned. Our person left us for quite some time, a whole day and night. I cannot understand her noises but I do gather that something frightening has happened. The yellow one has barked herself hoarse, and I am ashamed to say that I was very harsh with her upon our person's return. I was angry that she attempted to garner all my person's attention, and I do confess that I turned upon her very rudely. I was corrected severely and I admit I deserved it. I am a king, but not a tyrant. I should have kept calm during our time of crisis, and I did not.

However, I did my best to be pleasant to the yellow one during our romp in the meadow and I believe I have soothed her hurt feelings. My person, of course, is as loving and attentive as ever. It as if she hasn't the capacity to remember even the most immediate past events. It must be quite simple to be a person-I envy them that.

Yours remorsefully,
Boo Radley

Volume 2, Page Six


Another trip to the big meadow today, where we encountered a very unpleasant little female dog. She seems to be confused regarding the span of my kingdom. It will be a dark day when I let a nasty creature like that usurp my lands. However I did receive a harsh rebuke for attempting to dispatch her, and so I allowed my person to step in and deal with the issue. She felt it best that we retreat to the other end of the meadow. She is a silly person, but she is mine, and so I did as she asked of me.

I do enjoy the rides in the great snorting person wagon however. Unfortunate that the yellow one acts like a fool, climbing to and fro from the front of the wagon to the back. It is a wagon. What could possibly be more interesting up front? I prefer to rest quietly until we arrive at our destination, but then, I am a more experienced traveler. All in all it was an interesting if not completely pleasant day. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Volume 2, Page Five


Today my person show marked improvement in her behavior. We went to the big meadow and there were many wonderful smells, although I spent quite a lot of time marking the territory. I shall not stand for any encroachment upon my meadow, far as it may be from the castle. There was much tossing of the Binky, and the agreeable small male person who sometimes visits gave rousing chase several times. Of course the yellow one came along, and daftly ran about sniffing the ground and making her ridiculous snuffling noises. She has no desire to chase the Binky, only to swoop in and steal it when my person is not keeping watch. I used to punish her but now I just let it pass. It must be horrible to be that foolish. I am quite exhausted and now shall bed down at my person's feet for my night's rest.

Yours contentedly,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Four


My person stayed away all evening. To show my displeasure I am refusing to play Binky. Hopefully she repents of her folly and we can start anew tomorrow.

Yours firmly,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Three


Dear readers, only yesterday I wished for new evening games, but I am quite perplexed at what I received in answer.

My person placed my Binky on my nose! I do not understand this. A Binky goes in one's mouth. It is for throwing, chewing, and fetching. What is the purpose of balancing it on my face? Nevertheless, I did as she asked and sat still while ridiculously balancing the Binky. She made this noise first "WAIT". Then she barked a noise "GO" and I knew she wanted me to flip the Binky off of my nose and catch it, so of course I did. She and all the persons in the house clapped her paws together and made their short barks of happiness, so it would seem this new game pleases them very much.

I will never, never understand persons.

Yours in befuddlement,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page Two


It was a pleasant and uneventful day today. My person spoke of taking the yellow one and I to "thedogpark" which is a pleasant meadow with wonderful smells. I was looking forward to the outing, but then water poured from the sky and we were castle bound for the day. My person promptly fell asleep after tossing the Binky for a small time. I did not mind, as I myself enjoy a lazy nap at her feet. I have been extremely attentive, in an attempt to express my forgiveness for her interlude with the tall one. It would be so much easier if she could bark, but alas persons are limited in their intelligence when it comes to communication.

I spent a great deal of the day remembering my valiant foe, the Canine Masterywoman. Oh, how I long to meet her in battle again some day. Perhaps it shall be soon. I tire of repeating the same evening games over and over, especially when I saw that the tall one had learned more games than I. That cut me to the quick, dear readers. I cannot lie. To think that silly female is more advanced than myself...well. It is quite insulting.

But tomorrow is another day, and I shall do my best to engage my person in some new evening games. For now, I am content here at her feet, Binky in mouth, ruler of all I survey.

Yours faithfully,
Boo Radley

Volume 2-Page One


It has been many, many days since I last spoke to you, dear readers. I return now in great celebration, and with good news. The tall one who has so rudely monopolized my person's time has left the castle, never to return.

Mind you, I bear no ill will toward her. The giant creature more closely resembled a hooved beast of the plains than a dog. What my person saw in her, I will never know. How could she forsake me for that galloping long-tongued creature? But I am not here to air my grievances. I have forgiven my person in totality. Truth be told, it is more a sign of weakness than magnanimity. What king would I be without my right hand beside me? Who should toss the Binky, if not she? Who should rub my belly, bring my food, make those silly person noises? I shudder to think. A kingdom without her would be empty and meaningless.

The yellow one still drives me to distraction, of course. Only yesterday she boldly snatched a Binky from me as I lay sleeping. If not for her fetching face I should surely banish her from this place! The little yellow one has been trying my patience as well, of late. She continues to bark at the approach of strangers, when she KNOWS full well that my person cannot abide her squeaky sounds of attack. I blame it all on the tall one. Now that she has traveled on, I feel certain things will improve immensely. My person shall worship me and wait on me hand and foot, the yellow one will stop her nonsense, and I shall have "hotdogs" at every meal.

Well, perhaps that is asking a bit much of my subjects. I shall settle for more time spent with the Binky and trips in the great shuddering person wagon on occasion. It is good to be king.

Yours with much relief,
Boo Radley

RETURN OF THE KING!

Boo Radley's diary, volume II. First installment in less than thirty. Hope he's got still got some readers out there, I'm too tired to do this for my own entertainment HA