Where shall I begin, dear readers? So much has happened in the castle today. Aside from the usual games and Binky throwing, we had two visitors, a male and a female person. They seem like a good sort and petted me very nicely. My subjects and I all received the delicious treats my person keeps on top of the box that keeps person food cold, and another male person who sometimes visits the castle spent some time in the back meadow assembling some sort of purple wagon with two big wheels.
Earlier in the day, my person fought the big purple monster again and drove it back into the room by the wrinkled one's quarters. I have also discovered that I can open the barrier in the back meadow by hitting it with my nose. My person cbeckoned me back into the meadow and I immediately heeded her call, which seemed to make her happy. I assumed it would, thus effectively distracting her from my original misdoing. It takes intellect and cunning to rule a kingdom well!
I have not yet mentioned the horrible attack perpetrated on me today. An object I previously thought inanimate grabbed me by the collar and I struggled mightily but could not free myself! Luckily, my person was sitting on a similar object right beside me. She called my name loudly as if to rebuke me, but then she spied the root cause of my distress and valiantly released me from the creatures grasp. I barked at it in utter confusion. How could a cold wooden thing with legs of rock do such a thing? Has everything I have ever known about life been trickery? I howled and growled my confusion for quite some time, but my person stroked my chin and made soft, soothing noises until I was quite sure that the thing would not attempt to harm me again. However, I shall keep my eye on that thing from now on. I cannot let down my guard, for that is the path to certain death.
I must admit that my person's mirthful howls did injure my pride, but I tell myself that she would never find such a hair-raising event humorous...
Yours in consternation,
Boo Radley
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