HIATUS

Some of you may have noticed Boo Radley's diary is on hold. I'm trying so hard to focus on getting Nora a home that I figure if I have time to compose something, it should be for her. Boo Radley is safe and loved in his forever home. He doesn't mind losing the limelight for a while...He wants Nora to quit hogging his mama LOLhttp://www.facebook.com/WantedALovingHomeForNora

Chapter Five, Page Four

The Not-Dogs are everywhere tonight. I hear their insane yippings from all directions. They sound hungry, and they are searching for some small creature to eat. The old grumpy one was barking nervously and pacing to and fro in the back meadow. He is old, and forgets that he is no longer king in this palace. Once it was HIS job to protect the subjects of the kingdom, but when I became fully grown I took over his rule. In his old age he sometimes forgets he is retired to a life of naps and sitting on the lap of the wrinkled one. I don't mind-someday I shall hand over the throne to another and with good luck he will indulge me as well.

I patrolled the perimeter of the meadow twice more after my person called me to go inside, and marked the edges well with my scent. I bear the Not-Dogs no ill will, but they shall not dine on THIS castle's birds tonight.

Yours ever vigilant,
Boo Radley

Chapter Five, Page Three

I was sorely vexed with my person today. She has been staying at the castle all day as of late, but today she disappeared and came back at dusk smelling of other dogs. The tall one in the side meadow is one thing. I can handle her charity toward a dog with no castle of its own, but really! There is only so much time in a day, and Iexpect her to devote the majority of hers to me, her sovereign.

As punishment for her transgression, I forced her to throw the Binky over and over and over again. She tried to stop, but I insisted she continue. I even placed it on her face when she tried to slumber! I feel she must have recognized her guilt, because she only laughed and continued to throw it. I had intended to wear her into a state of great fatigue, but strangely enough I felt my own self growing weary. Now I am resting, sprawled out beside her with my hip firmly anchoring her foot. Should she try to leave again this day, I will waken and give her a royal glare...

Yours in watchful exhaustion,
Boo Radley

Chapter Five, Page Two

MOST unsettling day. My person's mother brought strange things into the house. I found it exceedingly odd when she brought a tree into the house and hung things from it, but today was the final straw.

She pulled out these...CREATURES that make noise, but do not breathe. They almost look like animals, but they are made of the fur that persons change daily. They sounded like muffled human barking, and the small persons howled mirthfully when they 'barked'. Some of them have small balls on them that make a high pitched noise not easily described. She also placed a red thing on her head that made these noises AND person noises, and it flopped about like a dying fish, AND it had flashed of light coming from it.

Dear readers, I am sorely puzzled and my head aches with all this unexplained behavior. I am retiring early tonight, and hoping that tomorrow all these things will be gone from the castle, and only a bad dream...

Your befuddled leader,
Boo Radley

Chapter Five, Page One

There are strange animals yipping outside. They sound like dogs, yet they also do NOT sound like dogs. I have heard these animals many times before. They are cowards, and will not face me. They smell strange, and they have no persons smell about them. I bark a few times to warn them off, just in case they decide to eat the birds that belong to the wrinkled one. I love her, and I love the delicious eggs they lay as well.

The yellow one's behavior has improved somewhat as of late. It is cold outside often, and even she prefers the warmth of the castle to the chilly night air. My person keeps the warm box in the castle wall going quite often. She places odd things in there, and when she opens it they have turned into delicious smelling food. I rarely get to partake of this food, but I do enjoy the warmth and the smells.

I lay at my person's feet tonight, as I have been feeling very affectionate to her as of late. I do not like her to leave the castle without me, and while she did that for a short while today, she always returns in due time and I am quite comforted by her presence. During my slumber earlier today, I had dreams of mighty battles in which I guarded the castle from giant yipping not-dogs and marauding dogs. I woke to the mirthful howling of my person and others. It is not good form to make merry at the expense of your king, but I am feeling so much goodwill towards her today that I let it pass without incident.

I bid you goodnight, and may you dispatch your dream-foes as quickly and completely as I conquer mine.

Chapter Four, Page Twenty

Many persons in the castle today, and delicious smells. I was not given most of the food, but I did receive a lovely piece of ham. The male person puppy with the yellow fur was here. I quite enjoy him, and we played binky several times. I tried to take the Binky from him before he threw it and was corrected, by my person as well asby the yellow person puppy! I must admit I was amused at the bravery of the tiny little thing.

The yellow one has been on her best behavior since my person scolded her for jumping on me. My person and I know that I cannot in good conscience punish the daft thing, so my person reprimanded her. She is a good person, and always protects her king.

Games were very distracting today. We never learn anything new any more, and I must admit I have been bored as of late. However, today the two small female persons went with us and were babbling and howling while riding their two-wheeled wagons in circles around me. I could barely concentrate, but still performed in a stellar fashion.

I am exhausted, and lay myself down at my person's feet for much deserved rest. It has been quite an eventful day.

Chapter Four, Page Nineteen

I have been pushed to my limit by the yellow one. Time and time again I put up with her demented antics, with no end in sight. She is under some delusion that is acceptable to harass me each time I patrol the perimeter of the back meadow. Rough-housing with royalty is UNACCEPTABLE. I continue to meditate upon the best way to deal with her gently but she will have none of it! She is like a giant child in a beautiful adult's body. Does she think I allow this because she is female? Does she believe her beauty holds some sway over me? She is sorely mistaken, dear readers! I am not some weak commoner to be held captive by an attractive face and a pleasing figure!

And just as I make up my mind to punish her, I think of my person, and how it will hurt her. And then the yellow one circles around me, lays down next to my side, lets out a delicately feminine sigh, and I do not have the heart to mete out the consequences she so richly deserves.

Yours in frustration,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Eighteen

Strange occurrence today. My person's mother and the two little persons piled into the wagon and have not returned. Surely they have not defected to another castle? I am enjoying the silence but as a conscientious ruler, I do worry. I must confess it is lovely to relax on the big comfortable bed without my person's mother telling me to get down. It shall be our little secret while she is gone, dear readers!

My person is playing evening games with the tall one who lives on the side of the castle! Earlier in life I would have been jealous, but I know that she merely feels empathy for the poor homeless creature. I continue to excel at my own games, and feel sure that the tall one cannot approach my prowess.

I hurt my leg yesterday, and my person seemed very concerned. She spent much time holding the tiny black thing next to her face and talking. However, her concern was unwarranted, and if she could bark I would have told her it was merely a temporary pain and not to be fretted over.

Your vigorous and healthful leader,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Seventeen

Yesterday the large hairy male person came to see us. He points a big black thing at us while we play our games, and he gives quite satisfying pats and ear scratches. We have seen him before, but this time my person, the yellow one, and I all rode in his wagon to the large meadow down the road. We played games until I was exhausted, but the yellow one ran around sniffing at the ground, completely ignoring us. What can you expect from her but utter ridiculousness? It is a waste of a good wagon ride, in my opinion.

Today my subjects and I spent much time in the back meadow chewing on delicious sticks that have fallen from the food-bearing trees. The yellow one destroyed the toy they call a "nooknook". I was quite angry when I found it in the bucket of discarded belongings, and snatched it. However I was promptly corrected and the nooknook discarded again, lost forever. Ah well, I did find a new toy at the dog park and it is quite bouncy, so perhaps I have traded evenly.

While outside, my person made noises into the small black thing she holds to her ear for a time, then made the orange monster eat the sticks and leaves inside the big metal-rimmed circle. The persons often do this, sometimes holding the sticks over the fire and placing white food on the end of them.

All in all, a delightful day. Goodnight, dear readers, and peaceful sleep to you and your kingdom.

Chapter Four, Page Sixteen

Dear readers, I know I have been lax in my diary entries as of late, but oh, such happy times are here at the castle! The suffocating fog of sadness we were previously cloaked in has given way to the most wonderful of times. Every day is filled with Binkies, chase, lavish attention from my person for me and all my subjects, person puppies howling mirthfully and bouncing me upon my giant bed, the most excellent ear scratches and praise, and many enjoyable games both with my person and the yellow one.

My person seems to still be under some sort of stress, but has obviously turned some corner in her own mind. The new small person who spends much time here is a jolly fellow, and often calls my name and throws me the Binky. He seems to have joined our small person's pack, and a welcome addition he is. Rosy-cheeked and always baring his teeth in that odd way persons do, he brings joy into all my subjects' faces when he arrives. We have had many other visitors as well. Today several older person pups visited along with their mother, and I was pleased with their pattings. The male person pup bounced me on the bed and was a worthy opponent at the game of Binky as well. The wrinkled one spends many hours in the back meadow, and I and the yellow one nap in the sun as we watch over her. My person's mother continues to provide me with loving affection, although she sis foolishly misinformed as to the yellow one's place in the castle. She thinks the yellow one rules here! Silly persons, can they not see that the yellow one is mad, and to be pitied, not revered? Ah well, it does me no harm to let it continue. The yellow one is a good subject in her own right, and deserves the love and affection she receives. I leave you in excellent humor, and wish your kingdoms all the happiness in the world.

Your loving and blessed king,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Fifteen

What a glorious day here in the castle. Spent much time in the meadow. The sky was bright but not hot, and a pleasant cool wind blew just enough to ruffle the royal fur. The wrinkled one and my person played their strange games, picking up dead leaves and half-eaten nuts from the trees, and the yellow one, the tiny ones and I meandered across the grass, sometimes chasing the Binky, sometimes just laying in the cool dirt watching the persons.

The bone of some great beast lay in the meadow, and I claimed it as my own. It took no small effort to carry, and seemed almost heavier than my head. I relished it for quite some time but my person took it from me when I attempted to enter the castle with the bone in my mouth. She made this noise. 'EWGROSS'.

I lay at her feet as she watched the noisy bright box, and beside her on the 'COUCH' thing, with the old grumpy one at our feet and the tiny yellow one yipping in her sleep. I believe she dreams of squirrels, as she does love to chase them so. Beside us lay the yellow one, ever waiting to squeeze past me in the race for my person's affection. Silly female. Will she never learn her place in this kingdom?

Your bemused king,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Fourteen

A strange malady has come over my person. She has slept most of the day away, stirring only to make a terrible honking noise like that of the great water birds. All day long I have brought her the binky in efforts to stir her, but she listlessly throws it once or twice and then drifts back into her sleep, making most unpleasant sounds all the while.

It has been a mercilessly boring day, with only the mad yellow one to keep me company, since the tiny ones love to curl up with my person and sleep the day away as well.

My person has stirred once more, and looks as if she will go into the room that makes hot water pour down. I like this room, the warm wet air feels pleasant on my nostrils. It has been chilly as of late, and this might be just the thing to cure my person of that horrible honking and return my castle to normality.

Your longsuffering leader,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Thirteen

I am most worried about the yellow one. She and my person left in a strange wagon with another female person. When she returned, a great patch of hair had fallen off of her belly, and something had attacked her there! She has a strange bite wound and some sort of blue mark next to the wound.

Ordinarily I pay no attention to her barkings, but she told such a strange story, I wonder if her mental condition is worsening. My person took her to a place with many dogs and cats, and on the side of a huge wagon were these symbols- EMANCIPET. Then they came at her attempting to do her harm! They put her inside the wagon and it was all made of cold shiny rock. She claims they tried to tie her mouth shut and stick sharp things in her flesh, like the sting of a giant bee. Then they made her feel strangely sleepy and happy. They locked her in a cage with a big pink paper on it with these symbols-CAUTION! I am scared. The walls of this wagon were lined with many animals, all barking, meowing, or sleeping deeply.

All this could be plausible, but then she made such a ridiculous claim, I can only believe she is either jesting or becoming even more daft, if you can comprehend such a thing...she said my person JOINED IN THE ATTACK! Rubbish, dear readers. Pure rubbish. No person is more loyal than mine. I know not WHY she is loyal to this foolish beast, but I do know that she would never attempt to harm the yellow one. Never.

What shall I do if the yellow is progressing in her lunacy? What if her hallucinations tell her she is the king? What if they tell her to chew our legs off in our sleep? What if she loses her looks, too? (Although I am quite proud of her physical appearance, that was in jest, dear readers. A little levity to ease the tension)

A king cannot shirk his duty to his subjects. I suppose I shall grow old with her by my side, barking of demon persons and birds with teeth and people that bark, the poor mad creature...

Chapter Four, Page Twelve

It has been a strange and wonderful time in the castle. Two nights ago the castle was invaded by strange-looking little people howling and yipping and running through the meadow. They buried their faces in water trying to find food, they ate (and dropped!) so many wonderful things. I was perturbed by their howling near the royal bedchamber, and tried to bark at them to stop, but they only howled mirthfully and stuck their hands in the royal bedchamber to pet me. They seem like good-natured little creatures, but really I cannot fathom why anyone would allow them to congregate in such large numbers.

My person also looked different that night. She wore strange tall fur on her head, and her skin was grey and mottled. I thought perhaps she was ill, but she did not act it. Late in the evening she played in the water and reappeared in her normal skin. I was much relieved. It has been lovely in the back meadow, searching out fallen bits of food discarded by the little person-pups.

I have had an exhausting game of Binky today with the small persons who live in the castle, and now I really must retire. I bid you a fond goodnight, dear readers.

Chapter Four, Page Eleven

Upon the subject of my person-She has often seemed melancholy of late, and I sense that however primitive they may be, she does have trials and fears that plague her. I wish I could bark to her words of comfort. If I could, I would tell her this;

As I lay beside you, my head in the crook of your knee, the binky resting on your hip, I know that you and I will be together for always. As you stroke my face and turn your mouth up as humans do when amused, know that no person or dog shall ever hurt you as long as I draw breath. No illness, hunger, pain or sorrow shall sway me in my devotion to you. I am your king, and I stand ever ready to guard you against the perils of the world. Though I paid no price to own you, you are utterly and completely mine. I shall never fail you. I shall never leave you. I shall love you fully and completely, until my reign over this kingdom has come to an end.

Yours forever,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Ten

I found a break in the barrier of the meadow. My person made the 'come' noise, so I returned after sniffing the yellow plants they grow. I ate one once, and promptly lost my stomach. It was delicious, and worth it.

Many small persons here today. I enjoyed them for a small time, but retired to my crate after they became too much for my nerves to bear. My person removed all the lovely dirt from the castle floor again with her large wet stick. It leaves a strange smell, half unpleasant and strong, half flowers. She does not like me to walk on the places she rubs the floor until they are dry. It irritates me. A king should have the run of his own castle, dear readers.

The concessions I make in the name of peace...

Chapter Four, Page Nine

Quite a lot of Binky today. The tiny old one seems to be feeling peckish. He is always grumpy, but I fear his skin is bothering him to no end and this always puts him out of sorts. My person's spirits, however, continue to improve. She has been returning from wagon trips with a strange smell of orange dirt and person-puppy sweat. It hurts my pride to think she is enjoying some sort of game without me, but I remind myself that anything that pleases her can only be good for the morale of the kingdom.

Chapter Four, Page Eight

The dark-haired female person came to visit my castle today. I approve of her. She gives excellent pets and makes amusing noises to me, as well as throwing the Binky with appropriate fervor. She belongs to several dogs, I believe, but has never brought them with her. The noises she makes sound different than my person's noises. Perhaps she is from another land.

The yellow one did something extremely rude in the castle today. We shall not bark of it, except to say when last she did this thing, there were skybooms.

The little persons were fractious today. Much howling and eye water. I was not pleased, nor were the persons if I am any judge of their primitive body language and 'barking'. More delicious smells from the food room, and again none served to me.

And now I retire, reflecting on the fact that today's only saving grace was several well-played games of Binky.

Chapter Four, Page Seven

The yellow one's behavior was much improved today. Perhaps she was exhausted from our battle during the night. We heard a fierce barking in the middle of the night. I tried to resist but I could not help but join the fray. Our barking woke my person's mother and she made some noises that seemed to express extreme displeasure. My person went out into the meadow behind the yard and through the barking I heard her make the 'NO' noise at the muscular dogs who are in shackles behind the next castle. Foolish person, of course they did not listen...

Games went excellently tonight. I wonder when we will return to the Canine Mastery person's meadow. I feel quite uneasy without our regular visits, and I have noticed that we have not learned any new games in quite some time, but simply repeat the same ones endlessly. I tire of these games and hope to learn more soon.

Chapter Four, Page Six

The yellow one has been driving me mad. I tried to express this to my person with various noises and I believe she understood, although her mother made the mirthful howls that offend me. My person made soothing nonsense noises and I was somewhat mollified. Really, the yellow one knows that my person belongs to me. I do not understand why she insists upon rudely shoving her face into my person's leg and whining for attention like a tiny pup. Perhaps she was neglected by her own mother. Whatever the reason, I remain sorely vexed and shall not let her participate in any Binky games tomorrow.

Chapter Four, Page Five

Where shall I begin, dear readers? So much has happened in the castle today. Aside from the usual games and Binky throwing, we had two visitors, a male and a female person. They seem like a good sort and petted me very nicely. My subjects and I all received the delicious treats my person keeps on top of the box that keeps person food cold, and another male person who sometimes visits the castle spent some time in the back meadow assembling some sort of purple wagon with two big wheels.

Earlier in the day, my person fought the big purple monster again and drove it back into the room by the wrinkled one's quarters. I have also discovered that I can open the barrier in the back meadow by hitting it with my nose. My person cbeckoned me back into the meadow and I immediately heeded her call, which seemed to make her happy. I assumed it would, thus effectively distracting her from my original misdoing. It takes intellect and cunning to rule a kingdom well!

I have not yet mentioned the horrible attack perpetrated on me today. An object I previously thought inanimate grabbed me by the collar and I struggled mightily but could not free myself! Luckily, my person was sitting on a similar object right beside me. She called my name loudly as if to rebuke me, but then she spied the root cause of my distress and valiantly released me from the creatures grasp. I barked at it in utter confusion. How could a cold wooden thing with legs of rock do such a thing? Has everything I have ever known about life been trickery? I howled and growled my confusion for quite some time, but my person stroked my chin and made soft, soothing noises until I was quite sure that the thing would not attempt to harm me again. However, I shall keep my eye on that thing from now on. I cannot let down my guard, for that is the path to certain death.

I must admit that my person's mirthful howls did injure my pride, but I tell myself that she would never find such a hair-raising event humorous...

Yours in consternation,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Four

Another day filled with playing of the Binky. I am so glad life at the castle is returning to normality. The persons moved the big circle with wood in it to the backyard. I thought it was a giant food area, so I continually claimed possession by dropping my Binky inside its circle. Imagine my surprise when my person's mother set it on fire! I could have lost my Binky forever!

Fire, dear readers, is a stuff that can be both lovely and dangerous. It is a great red and yellow monster that eats wood and gives off a delightful heat when it is contained. Out of all the creatures I have encountered in my life, only persons seem to be able to accomplish this feat.

I did become excited and overreact when the yellow one chased me and nipped at my flanks. My person corrected me, and it was quite unpleasant. However, we soon forgave each other and all was well. The big tall one continues to stay here, and she is quite vocal. I hope she finds her castle soon.

Chapter Four, Page Three

It has been many days since I last visited you, dear readers. My person has been feeling quite sad, I can tell. While she cannot bark, she has a very effective way of communicating through body language and the water that pours from her eyes. It has cast a dark cloud over our castle. And then today, it seemed to lift somehow. 

A small male person came to visit us. He and my small person played in the meadow behind the castle for hours, jumping on my large bouncing bed. They threw the binky for me oh, so many times! It was delightful. I felt quite as if I was a young pup again. We ran, and caught, and threw over and over as the small persons squealed with delight. They jumped on my bouncing bed and I let them bounce me into the air. It brings them such joy, and I myself find it not a little mirthful. Then my person returned.

She was gone in a strange and very noisy white wagon for the whole of the morning and afternoon. When she returned with the big tall one, she seemed somehow stronger. Not quite happy, but with an aura of firm resolve. She seemed very happy to see me in good spirits, and praised the small persons. She also played Binky with me for a while, and then we played our games. I was so excited and my blood was running hot from the games, so I did make a mistake or two but I soon rectified it.

I am now spread out at her feet, spent and ready for slumber. With luck we shall not suffer from such sadness again.

Your relieved king,
Boo Radley

Chapter Four, Page Two

The small person returned to the castle tonight, after which they all went to the back meadow and threw some toys at a strange configuration of sticks. I myself would've preferred a nice game of Binky, but there is no accounting for persons' taste.

We played the 'sitstay' game while they played their strange new game. I left my post two times and was corrected with the 'NO' sound, at which I promptly sat back down and finished the game. It was a pleasant day, but all in all quite uneventful.

Chapter Four, Page One

Much skywater today. Played our games inside as well as possible. A new dog in the front meadow of the castle today. My person seems to be using it as a way-station for dogs without a castle. Funny how a lesser creature can show intelligence and emotions. Once again, I often wish she could bark. What conversations we would have!

We also rode in the red wagon to a place where other persons pass food to my person through a hole in their castle. Once upon a time I would have barked at them fiercely, but I have learned they are gentle creatures, and pose no threat to us. Then we went to another castle, where I got out and a group of persons stood around looking at a big red box. Occasionally a small disk would shoot out the side of the box, and a person would grab it with their curious front paws and walk back to their wagon. A female person seemed excited to see me but she held no interest for me, as I was in the middle of the 'sitstay' game.

Although my Binky was limited to short range games in the castle and I suffered from a small amount of ennui, I am not entirely displeased with this day. I have a full belly, a loving person to serve me, and all is well tonight.

Your benevolent ruler,
Boo Radley

Chapter Three, Page Twenty

My person continues to annoy. Today she made me get in the big white hole and put a smelly substance all over me. It makes bubbles and tastes horrible. She sprayed water all over me and now all my delightful smells and dirt are gone. It will take me weeks to acquire more. She did the same to the yellow one, and to the tiny ones yesterday.

She also removed the dirt from the floors again today. I really must ruminate on a solution to her troublesome behavior.

Chapter Three, Page Nineteen

I am extremely perturbed with my person. As ruler of this kingdom, I demand a strict routine be adhered to, and it is as follows; We wake. She brings us to the meadow behind the castle to perform our natural functions. She feeds us. We lay about restfully for several hours, then the small person arrives and plays Binky. Then we are fed again, I have another round of Binky, then we engage in our evening games. After the games, more Binky. Then we retire. Every seventh day this schedule is altered when we visit the Canine Mastery person.

After our first feeding, she asked me to play Binky. I of course obliged, for I shall never pass up an opportunity to play my favorite game. However, it is the seventh day and we did NOT visit the Canine Mastery woman, nor did we play Binky after evening games! I shall not stand for insurrection or mutiny. I am QUITE put out.

Yours in frustration,
Boo Radley

Chapter Three, Page Eighteen

Most of the day passed uneventfully, but evening games were quite challenging! We traveled down a path previously uncharted, and there was a great snorting beast on the road. Normally I defer to the greater size and power of these beasts, and cross to the other side. However my person wished to remain on our chosen path. The beast stirred uneasily and raised his great hind paws (If you have never seen one of these beasts, dear reader, their paws are made of rock and can kill a dog in one blow) I must admit I felt a fair amount of trepidation, but I did not falter. My person seemed very pleased by this.

Even more tempting was the crunchy who did not run, but also stayed her path as my person gave the 'DOWN' noise. The crunchy stared at me intently, its otherworldly tail twitching as if it were one of the legless belly crawlers with the poison bite. After many moments it ran. I could not bear it, dear readers! I rose from my crouch, and of course my person barked the 'NO' noise. I was quite shamed at my lack of control. However, I finished out our games with perfection, and my person seemed very pleased.

Strangely, we did not conclude the evening with our regular game of Binky. Ah well, perhaps it slipped her mind. After all, as I keep reminding myself, she is but a mere person...

Chapter Three, Page Seventeen

The yellow one and I had quite an adventure this afternoon, but I fear my person is very displeased. Someone came to get the little black fellow today, and left the door to the meadow open. The yellow one found it, and ran out. I myself used to lead my person a merry chase before I learned to play the games, and I could not resist the temptation. I followed her on a mad dash past all the houses until an evil man in a white wagon began to follow us. I ran back into the meadow and the yellow one ran to the front door. My person let her in and then came to check on me in the back meadow. She was NOT pleased. I was a little ashamed of myself for behaving in a manner unbefitting a king, and scaring my person so. I can tell she is very afraid of the man in the white wagon. I should have protected her from him. I have been very affectionate with her to show my sorrow at my behavior. I can only hope the Canine Mastery woman does not find out. Somehow I care very much that she has a good opinion of me...

Chapter Three, Page Sixteen

My person stayed at the castle all day today. I was quite pleased. We played Binky several times, and she made delicious smells in the food room again.

In the meadow behind the castle, we played games without a leash. I performed excellently, even though the foolish yellow one tried to sabotage me on several occasions. She cannot perform the games. When we toss the Binky, she sometimes reaches it first as she is somewhat faster than me, but of course you know, dear readers, that she only hides it and cannot return it to my person.

I jumped upon the giant bouncing bed with the small male person today. It is quite invigorating and gives me a merry feeling. He makes cackling noises, much like the small brown birds that belong to the wrinkled one. I have often noticed persons making this noise-it seems to be an indicator of happiness. Later in the evening I saw the small black one in the meadow behind the castle. He is such a timid fellow, I did not even have the heart to bark at him. We are now laying down to rest, fatigued, stomachs full, and happy.

Your benevolent ruler,
Boo Radley

Chapter Three, Page Fifteen

There is a quiet little black fellow in the front meadow of the castle. I have not met him, so I believe he will be traveling on soon, much like the little one before him. He has made not a sound, and appears to be very timid. The little female person seems to like him very much, perhaps he will live at her castle. I have had a pleasant day, and now I shall put my Binky in my food bowl and slumber. Good night, dear readers.

Chapter Three, Page Fourteen

My person stayed late again making delicious smells. I sat at her feet and POINTEDLY stared, but she did not give me any of the sweet food. I am exhausted-this new sleep schedule does not please me.

Chapter Three, Page Thirteen

Just when I thought the Canine Mastery female and I had forged an (albeit uneasy) truce, she uses my games against me! All was going well in her meadow, and then she walked to her wagon. I thought perhaps she would ride away, but then I heard a squeak. A squeak! The maddening creature had a NOOKNOOK! For those dear readers who do not remember, a nooknook is a fabulous toy much like the binky, but it emits a tantalizing squeak when you bite it.

The Canine Mastery female brought the nooknook to me and THREW IT! I was in agony! I knew my person wanted me to be still, because she made the 'stay' noise. But it was a nooknook! It squeaked! I HAD to chase it! I took a tentative step and was promptly corrected. What fresh hell was this? What evil lurks in the mind of that woman? Why does she torture me so? Back and forth she threw the nooknook, squeaking it at every opportunity. My muscles shook, my body leaned into each toss...I was near madness but I would not let her break me! I stayed seated and was praised by my person, but it was an empty victory. I never attained the nooknook.

After taking a few moments to collect myself, we continued games and I performed flawlessly. My person was corrected on more than one occasion, however. She was very slow to learn the new game. I shall have to be patient with her this week. At the end of our games, my person told me to sit next to all the other dogs in the meadow. They were not tethered to their person, but they sat quietly just the same. The attractive brindle female sat beside me, as did the little black pup. Next to him was the silver female, and several others, including the big muscular one who greeted me enthusiastically when games began. Truth be told, he greeted me a little too enthusiastically for my taste, but he seemed a good fellow so I did not take him to task for it. It was a pleasant enough group, and although I was taken by surprise when my person dropped my leash, I did not move. All this torture, new games, and good behavior on my part have left me exhausted. I bid you goodnight.

Your Benevolent Ruler,
Boo Radley

Chapter Three, Page Twelve

That black dog persists in sticking his nose through the white sticks around my meadow. I warn him over and over again but he does not listen. Perhaps he is a simpleton, like the yellow one. Each time I bark at the black dog, she raises her hackles and jumps on me! She is lucky I am a benevolent king.

My person seems very tired as of late. I hope she is not feeling unwell. She went away in the wagon without me again and did not come back until the evening. I shall go lay down beside her and check to see if she is ill. 

Your worried king, 
Boo Radley

Chapter Three, Page Eleven

Today my person's behavior showed vast improvement. She fawned over the yellow one too much for my liking, but she did show the appropriate attention to me as well, unlike the past days. I am much pleased with her.

Today the wrinkled one leaned over and pressed her mouth to my head, making that sucking noise that persons do when they wish to show affection. Although she is the tiny ones' person and not my own, I love her very much. She has been in the castle forever, and she makes sounds to me quite often. She respects her king and treats me well. Today she leaned on me in the meadow, steadying herself as she walked into the castle. I made sure to be very still so that she did not fall. A good king watches over all his subjects, and does not consider himself above rendering aid to those who require it.

Games went well. There were two strange dogs I have not seen before running about. I judged them to be no threat, as they retreated once my person made the 'GOWAYGOWAY' noise.

I shall take my leave of you now-I feel as if I have one more game of Binky left in me tonight. Sleep well, dear readers, for I watch over the kingdom and all is well.

Chapter Three, Page Ten

Please forgive my inattention to this diary as of late, dear readers. I love my person very much but she has been severely neglecting her king. She goes in the wagon without me, she stays awake until the wee hours of the morn and fills the castle with delicious smells sharing not a bite, and this day she took all the food away in the wagon, returned with almost none, and promptly threw herself down and fell asleep. It is quite taxing, but I must be patient with her as she is only a person.

Games went well tonight. I was tempted to ignore her requests in retribution for her own neglect, but I enjoy her happy noises so. I gave in and performed well, as usual.

I am hoping my person is back to her normal attentive self in the morning. I leave you somewhat offended but still devoted,

Boo Radley.

Chapter Three, Page Nine

More sky water today. The little person and I had an excellent game of binky. I ran until I was exhausted. My person wrestled with the great purple monster again, throughout the whole house. She seems to enjoy the battle. Before she does this, she sprinkles a white powder throughout the fuzzy floors of the castle. It smells like flowers, yet not like flowers. Another strange habit of persons that I will never comprehend.

Tonight the red muscular dog from the castle across the way approached our yard. I warned him quite sternly to leave my meadow. As I was doing so, that daft yellow one jumped on ME! I quickly corrected her and she began to run around the perimeter of the meadow at breakneck speed. Perhaps she becomes so excited at the thought of battle that she forgets against whom she is guarding the castle-proof indeed that the silly beast is quite mad. It is all I can do to control my temper with her. I remind myself over and again that I must rule my kingdom with fairness and temperance, but it is not a simple thing with this 'Lola', this fetching simpleton, this beautiful and maddening female, this creature with whom I am so fascinated and aggravated.

Chapter Three, Page Eight

Gloomy dark day today, but the atmosphere did not carry over into the castle. Aside from the yellow one's irrational fears of the sky booms, all was cheerful. My person continues to make wondrous smells emanate from the food room, although she seems to be quite stingy with the results. 

Games went well, although the ground was still soaked. The new 'come' game seems very simplistic. Perhaps there is a nuance I am overlooking. I feel as if we should have visited the Canine Mastery woman today. I wonder if she is ill, for we did not travel to her meadow. I am rather disappointed, but I would not let her become aware of that. She takes too many liberties with the king as it is, and has taught my person to do the same.

Chapter Three, Page Seven

I feel a heaviness in my heart today. The big black and brown dog next door appears to be gone. He was an older fellow, and I fear he has left this life. He spent his days in shackles, and was thin and dirty. 

We have had our battles, he and I. Although I have had to drive him from my meadow in the past, I wish him no harm. He was kind to pups, he harmed no person or beast. His was a joyless life, and an ignoble death unworthy of a king.

This and every dog who has ever suffered so deserved better.

Yours in sorrow,
Boo Radley

Chapter Three, Page Six

My person spent much of the day making smells come from the food room in the castle, after which she began to pull down the old boundaries in the meadow. She left somewhere in the red wagon, and when she came back she smelled of dirt and sweaty small persons.

On our walks, we are learning to trust each other. When a person or dog approaches, I stand at attention and wait for her reaction. When she makes these sounds (itsokaybooboogoodboy) soft and soothing, I know that the approaching creature is no real threat to us, and I keep a watchful eye but do not threaten. When she is nervous or fears the oncomer, that I can also sense. She makes this noise then, (GOWAYBADDOGGOWAY). Sometimes she even throws a rock! Then I growl menacingly until the creature retreats, but I do not give chase.

The yellow one is becoming increasingly affectionate with my person. I find it mildly irritating, but the more time passes, the more I trust my person's loyalty. It is clear that she loves the yellow one (one would have to, to put up with her incessant foolery) but I chuckle to think of any dog ever replacing me in my person's heart. Persons may not be as intelligent a species as we, but they have a great capacity for love and loyalty (and their opposites, may my heart bear witness to the plight of my chained brothers).

It is a proud and loving king who bids you goodnight.

Chapter Three, Page Five

Uneventful day. Evening games went well. I was startled by a male person and a great snorting beast, but as my person did not seem alarmed, I soon deemed them harmless.

Two persons came to visit, and left with many plants they pulled from the earth. I have seen the great snorting beasts do this with their teeth, but the persons always pull them out using their curious front feet (which are quite ineffective for walking, but prove most useful to them in other ways) The visiting persons smelled nice. I allowed them both to pat the royal coat. The male person even played a little Binky. Through the window I noticed the wrinkled one making noises at the male, and they seemed to be barking about the plants. However, you can never tell with persons if it is nonsense or some sort of rudimentary barking.

Chapter Three, Page Four

More of that tiresome game the persons play involving digging holes and filling them with white sticks. I was SO plagued by ennui that I actually played the yellow one's ridiculous 'chase me' game. She does love it so, and I had nothing more interesting to do.

My subjects and I were all let inside at dusk, but the persons stayed outside. When they finally let us outside to perform our necessary functions, a strange thing had occurred. The boundaries of the meadow had CHANGED! The white sticks now form a gigantic NEW meadow. Wonderfully excited to play a long game of ball with the little person in this new territory!

Games went well, and I performed excellently, with only one correction. My person seems quite spent, much like last evening. I feel she will be asleep soon, and I shall be at her side.

Chapter Three, Page Three

Forgive the tardiness of these writings, dear readers. My person and I were staring at the noisy colored box and the two of us fell into a deep sleep and did not wake until morn.

Yesterday was a pleasant day, the air was crisp and much cooler than recent days. My person spent all day shoving the white sticks into holes and seemed very tired during our evening games, but I did a fine job and nothing untoward occurred.

The black dog made another appearance yesterday. He seems a merry fellow, careless as a pup as he wanders across the land eating out of trash cans and depositing his necessary functions in the meadows of other castles. However, like a pup he is unaware of the danger that follows him. I see many persons throw rocks and yell at him, and he doesn't seem to fear any monarch who threatens him. He travels dangerously close to the wagons that hurtle down the roads at breakneck speed.

He needs a person and a castle. And a moat.

Chapter Three, Page Two

I am not feeling well today, dear readers. I will write more on the morrow. Keep your king in your thoughts, my person seems to think rest will cure all.

Chapter Three, Page One

Spent much of the day in the meadow behind the castle. Evening was spent with the Canine Mastery woman. Her attractive brindle female was there, as well as the silver one and a muscular male whose name is very similar to my own. There was a large one there whom I have not seen before tonight. 

My person asked me to climb upon a table, and then a tree stump. I do not know why, but this gave her great satisfaction. We also learned a new game, called 'Come' and she seemed VERY pleased when I performed well at this new thing. I heard the Canine Mastery woman make this sound, 'basicobediencetest'. It seemed to make my person a little nervous. I feel it has to do with a challenge of games. If so, my person should not be nervous. I enjoy the games, and I especially enjoy performing them perfectly! I am almost offended at her worry, and then I remind myself she is merely a person, and knows no better. I shall rise to the challenge with vigor!

Your exuberant leader,
Boo Radley

Chapter Two, Page Twenty One

The yellow one regurgitated her lunch today. My person seemed very concerned, but if she could bark I would have informed her that the yellow one is quite the glutton and ate my lunch as well as her own. I begin to think she may have done it to receive special attentions from the persons. I put nothing past that creature.

I performed less than impressively in the beginning of our games tonight, but after correction I threw myself down upon the ground immediately when I heard the 'down' noise. The poor chained beasts have barked themselves hoarse and sounded like old crows tonight.

My person is staring into the clear pond in her wing of the castle. I do not understand why she is fascinated by the swimming creatures. All of them together would make not even a snack.

Chapter Two, Page Twenty

Evening games went swimmingly. I performed not just excellently, but PERFECTLY. My person was so very pleased with me. I was very excited, and we even ran for a while. I needed this, as there were no ball games today.

The tiny ones have been sleeping with my person. I am not threatened by this, in fact I allow it as a token of goodwill. After all, they were residents of the castle when I began my rule. Despite their participation in behaviors that curry no favor from my person, they are good-hearted little subjects and they amuse me to no end. Upon occasion, the tiny fat one romps with me, but the old one is tired and becomes cross at my attempts to frolic. He sleeps away most of the day but seems to be in good spirits. The wrinkled one loves him very much, and he spends most of the day at her side, as does the tiny fat one, although she begs for attention from my person in no small measure.

Chapter Two, Page Nineteen

My subjects and I spent the entire day outside. The persons were playing a strange game of digging holes with sticks, then filling the holes with different white sticks. I was bewildered but amused, as were the two tiny ones and the yellow one. 

My person and I had another altercation. The tiny yellow one ran out the gate when my person opened it, and I followed suit. I know my person dislikes this immensely, but it is what I have always done. She caught my necklace as I attempted to squeeze past her, and I growled quite angrily and snapped at her. Once more, dear readers, I am ashamed of this behavior, but years of bad habits keep surfacing, though I know I should rule with kindness and not anger. My person corrected me very harshly, yet after incidents like these she never seems to bear me ill will. This is one of the reasons that I love her and try to please her. She accepts me with all my faults, and I feel somehow that we are working together now to create peace, happiness and safety in the kingdom. I was quite repentant and showed her extra affection all afternoon, and I believe she understood my apology regardless of her inability to bark.

Evening games went well. No strange dogs running about, and my person was lavish with praise when I performed well.

I remain your imperfect but steadfast leader,
Boo Radley

Chapter Two, Page Eighteen

Another banner day here at the castle. Again the thundering herd of little persons took us to the meadow, AGAIN the silly yellow one ran about ignoring us all, and again I played 'fetch' until I threw myself to the ground, utterly spent.

I was quite ill-tempered when games began, but I believe I am just getting rusty at the 'down' game. My person and I refreshed ourselves upon the rules and I ended the evening in splendid form befitting my station.

I quite enjoy the new toys brought by the little male person yesterday, but the yellow one keeps taking them. Does she not know that toys are only for kings? No sooner does she drop one than do I spirit it away, and yet she continues to do so. Ah well. She is my cross to bear, the stone around my neck, and yet I do feel a growing affection for her. I am sure it is only that of a king for his subject.

On the subject of the yellow one, my person's mother is across the castle murmuring her nonsense noises. This one she repeats quite often, 'myyellerbaby' and 'mylolagirl'. She often laughs at the yellow one, as do we all.

Chapter Two, Page Seventeen

I have finally discovered why I am forced to suffer through the barking and squealings of the thundering herd of person puppies that often visit the castle, and dear readers it is worth every minute of aural agony! We went to a meadow where I smell many other dogs have been, and oh, the 'fetch' games we played!

I have never run so far, so fast, or so long! It was a pure, unadulterated joy to run. The meadow was so enormous the persons could not throw the ball to the end. I leapt, I scrambled, I spent every ounce of energy in my body. At last, I was forced to steal the ball from the persons and flop down in sheer defeat!

Of course, the yellow one foolishly ignored the games, but seemed quite happy to run madly along the perimeter of the meadow, sniffing and snuffling in her strange way. Although she ignored the persons, she also exuded a feeling of utter bliss, and exhausted herself in her imaginary pursuit of all the scents of all the dogs who had come before us.

Because of my tired state, I must admit I was a little grouchy for the evening games, but I did perform as asked. The person puppies all came along, and every time I laid down for the 'stay' game they laid down with me and gazed into the sky, jabbering and jibbering their nonsense.

I cannot think of a day that has been more enjoyable than this. I lay down my head weary, satisfied, and totally at peace.

Your benevolent ruler,
Boo Radley

Chapter Two, Page Sixteen

Today brought many interesting happenings both fair and foul. We had several pleasant romps in the meadow behind the castle, but as the sun began to sink lower in the sky, the herd of small persons arrived. Do not forget how vexed I was when last they came. I cannot abide the loudness of their yappings and fightings. 

Evening games began as usual, until we spotted a large black dog advancing upon us! I felt my person fill with anxiety, and I knew that this was my chance to prove to her that I can protect her from the danger that surrounds us. However, I also remembered that oftentimes I am corrected for inflating the situation. And so, dear readers, I very calmly stood alert and gave the wanderer a warning bark. My person also yelled this noise at him, "GOHOME". She repeated her noise, so I gave him a loud growl. He very wisely chose to run in the other direction. It was then I realized that I knew this dog! I had seen him nosing around our castle a few nights ago, and warned him MUCH more vehemently to stay away from my kingdom. He didn't seem such a bad fellow. I feel as if he is searching for a better castle, as he doesn't seem well-fed and he often noses around our yard.

I must leave you! I smell fake bacon!

Chapter Two, Page Fifteen

We rode in the wagon to Canine Mastery today. It was pleasant, although my person corrected me several times during the 'heel' game. There were just so many interesting smells, dear reader! Hard to resist. However I did a fine job at the 'stay' game. There was a black pup there who seems to have completed some important task. I sat very close to the brindle dog. She is, to put it politely, a very attractive dog. It is strange that although I notice her beauty, I still harbor no romantic feelings. In fact, I have not had any romantic feelings since the hot time last year. Perhaps I am getting old? No matter, it does not affect my ability to rule. I am both famished and exhausted-I bid you goodnight.

Chapter Two, Page Fourteen

Did not receive but a short amount of the ball game with the little person. Most unsatisfactory, but better than none I suppose. Evening games were uneventful. I remain indignant at the 'down' game but my resolve is wearing thin. My person is persistent, I will award her that dubious compliment!

So many angry dogs in the castles surrounding us. I do not cast blame upon these poor beasts. The indignity of being leashed to a TREE! Imagine it dear readers-what an utterly uneventful and frustrating life these deposed monarchs must feel. It does not appear they are receiving kingly rations, either. Many appear ill and show great bald patches upon their coats. Some persons are quite disgusting to me-they really should not be allowed to breed as they are obviously not cut of decent cloth. Fortune has definitely favored my castle with its choice of subjects, but I cannot glory in this while the haunting images of my fellow beasts in chains burns in my brain.

Yours with a heavy heart,
Boo Radley.

Chapter Two, Page Thirteen

Hm. I am very disgruntled. My person stayed away from the castle ALL DAY today. I am demanding all her attention now so she will know that I missed her and she should NOT repeat this behavior again!

Chapter Two, Page Twelve

I am very pleased with my person's mother today. She must have gone hunting, because she came home with a wonderful bounty of THREE binkies! Of course, the yellow one, the tiny old one, and I all set to work removing the binky tails. It is custom to gnaw them off. It makes the binky more pleasurable for catching. Naturally the yellow one (daft, you will recall) chewed her binky for hours, as if it was a bone filled with delicious marrow. I am so very fond of her now, but much of it is amusement, for every court needs a fool.

Our evening games are wearing on me. I feel my person takes too many liberties with the royal person, especially with the 'down' and 'stay' game. Really, she acts as if SHE rules this kingdom...thrice she corrected me this evening. It is in these times that I remind myself of her GOOD qualities. Excellent binky throwing, generosity with treats, and my favorite of all, her petting skills. It is if love and affection ooze through her hands, quite relaxing. I have never before trusted a person to know how to behave in a dangerous situation, but I believe she is earning that trust, despite her fraternization with the Canine Mastery woman. Come to think of it, the Canine Mastery woman does exude an aura of confidence that would be very beneficial in times of peril.

I must be tired, entertaining thoughts of an alliance with my arch-enemy! It is off to slumber I go, remaining ever

Your vigilant ruler,
Boo Radley

Chapter Two, Page Eleven

Strange occurrence today. The small person produced a shiny thing and placed it to his mouth. It bellowed like a sick horse, REPEATEDLY. I retired to my crate to no avail. The shiny thing has powerful lungs and its caterwauling rang throughout the castle and beyond. Just as I was devising a plot to kill the thing, he placed it in a big black box and took it away. May a thousand suns rise and set before I ever lay ears on the shiny thing again!

Aside from this assault on the royal ears, I had an uneventful day and a very pleasant walk. Now I will lay down next to the yellow one with my Binky at my side.

Chapter Two, Page Ten

We spent much of the day outside, and my person's mother made a noise like this-'howscleening'. I was quite bored, and insisted upon a rousing game of binky when we re-entered the castle. The small person and I played 'ball' today with his wonderful toy, which helped my ennui in no small measure.

My person came home smelling of many strange dogs again today, but I have long since decided to trust in her fealty. Then after some time they all left but the wrinkled one, and when they came back all my persons smelled of the great snorting beasts as well.

Our evening games went well, excepting my irritation with the 'stay' game but my person quickly corrected me and I decided to acquiesce. We tossed the binky a while and now I am ready to rest my head. Wishing a good evening to all my dear readers,

Boo Radley

Chapter Two, Page Nine

The persons spent almost all of the day outside, putting big white sticks in the ground. They keep making this noise "Fence". I was rather bored, but the yellow kept herself busy barking like a mad dog at whoever passed by. She was chastised but as she is of limited intellect, it appeared to do no good.

Our evening games were uneventful. I of course am excellent at the new sit game. Really, my person must try harder to invent more challenging activities befitting a dog of my mental stature.

Chapter Two, Page Eight

I relaxed much of the day. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. However, my person and I did meet with the Canine Mastery woman in her meadow this evening. Such a long ride in the wagon! We played a new game called 'Stay', and I must admit, dear readers-it took my person quite some time to catch on. However, the Canine Mastery woman corrected her and then we began to learn in earnest.

There were some interesting dogs in the meadow this evening. A HUGE female with big floppy ears, the silver one I have seen before, a black female, and one (I believe her person is the Canine Mastery woman) who has fur of brown and black stripes. I was surrounded by women, until another brown and black striped male showed up with his person, who was also male. I have never before seen a silver dog. That one must come from a far-away place, I think. The silver one and the striped one sat down for a very long time.

I want to tell you about a very strange behavior. I performed...a 'function' in the meadow, and my person produced a wrapper of some sort, and PICKED IT UP! I find this distasteful. I wonder if any other dogs have persons with embarrassing habits like this one.

Yours in confusion, Boo Radley

Chapter Two, Page Seven

The forgiving nature of persons is such a blessing. Today was simply marvelous. There were three small persons here, but they played outside for a great while and so did not make their presence unwelcome. We all played with the Binky in the meadow behind the castle, and I felt so appreciative of my subjects that I even let the yellow one win twice. The trouble with that? She refuses to bring back the Binky! Ah well. I let it pass.

Evening walk and games were difficult, however. One of the female small persons brought my tiniest subject along with her, and I found it very hard to concentrate on games and protect my littlest at the same time. She runs at breakneck speed and I constantly fear attack. After several tries, I finally relaxed and participated fully in the games. It ended pleasantly, and after we returned my person took the yellow one out for a walk as well. Now I lay down for much needed rest and bid you all a fond goodnight.

Chapter Two, Page Six

Dear readers, I almost could not bring myself to write this evening. I have done a thing that shames me, but how can I expect my subjects to admit their wrongdoing if I cannot admit my own? And so I must tell you what I have done.

My person does not wish me to bark, growl, and threaten outsiders who come to our home during the day. I have begun respecting her wishes since meeting the Canine Mastery female, but today I was very cross. I rushed at the door, and when my person corrected me...(I can hardly bear to write this-courage, Boo...) I growled, barked, and snapped my teeth at her as if to bite.

She immediately corrected me very harshly. I am afraid I reacted badly, and though I did not mean to do it, I hurt my person and tore her shirt and skin. There was blood, and all the persons were howling with all their might.

After this shameful event, she barked her nonsense words at me quietly and I licked her hand in apology. Water came out of her eyes.

Sometimes I do not understand my person, but I know in my heart that she loves me, and wishes only good things for me, as I love her. I am hoping that tomorrow we can both forget that we hurt each other and move forward with the mutual respect we have worked so hard to forge.

Your humbled king,
Boo Radley